Monday, November 22, 2010


Oh wow, six months since an update. Not as if anybody reads it, but you know. Good to vent and what not.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to cut off my feet. They are horrid little things.

No one will do it for me though, which is rather disappointing.

I've thought it through. An oxy-welder will be on hand afterwards to cauterize my wounds, after metho or some form of spirits has been poured on it to clean it. The bleeding would stop. I would be put into a hospital, under an induced coma whilst the doctors or surgeons fix what nerve endings I have left.

Then I will be fitted with prosethetics. Then I never have to look at my own feet again!


Saturday, May 15, 2010

I realised I am a fat piece of shit this morning. Unlike a turnip, I can't decompose if left alone. This is my greatest regret

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

disrepfectful or modern woman?

My 'mother-in-law' (I use the term VERY loosely) was having a discussion with an old hippy of her age. Main topic was me, and how I am disrespectful through my language and actions.

This started off after I refused to let her piggyback my internet connection. I refuse to share things, and only care about myself apparently. Yet she seems to forget that I pay majority of the bills, cook for her, clean and buy her little gifts and groceries. I donate to charity regularly, and volunteer at my local charity shop from time to time. Yet I am not helpful because I don't help stray dogs home, help feed wild animals (these being lorikeets that she feeds everyday and now wake me up at six in the morning) or give her money when she demands it.

And my language is also bad. I told her to go root herself and suck my dick because she turned around and said my mother and father hate me, and that my boyfriend is only with me because I am a slut and give him sex when he wants it. Tit for tat Poodle.

The old gentleman, Leroy, stepped in and said that compared to some language these days, I am tame and respect is due when it is given. She said no young ladies talk like that these days, and he even said he knows women in their 90's who swear like sailors.

I agree with him. He stated that she needs to get with the times, instead of being stuck in, as he so eloquently put it, 'the boomerang days'. She believes a woman's place is in the kitchen, and to be seen and not heard. He then ranted that since the seventies women have been almost as equalised as men, except for pay differences and respect, and she needs to step out of her sheltered 1950's ideals of the modern woman and accept that times have changed, as have the social normalities and practices.

I would hate for her to meet a lot of my friends, who swear, make sexual jokes and are what she would consider 'rude and disrespectful'.

Now this could be considered the typical 'OH how surprising, a girl hates her boyfriend's mother', but anyone who has met her will agree, she is a rude, arrogant bitch only out to further herself, be it by means of putting me down, my relationship with her son down, or putting anything or anyone down who doesn't suit her or her dated ways.

I will not even get into her mental health, because this is not what this post is about.

She just needs to be more willing to accept how people are today, and that language and actions have changed since she was my age. Yes, it cuts both ways, and I should be willing to accept hers. I do in the most part, but it is hard when she slanders everything I stand for as an independant woman.

Maybe she is fickle, maybe I should ignore it but either way, it annoys me

Jess xx


I am currently embroiled in a facebook battle. I basically commented 'learn to spell' and the illiterate piece of poo (trying not to swear) is bringing up events of the past.

Back story, I was an unruly school child, and spent a lot of my time doing Rachael-esque (Glee) storm outs whilst 'learning'. A lot of these were while crying. I was an emotional child, and a lazy one. So combine the two and BAM! Straight out of class.

My work ethic has since picked up.

Back to the story, which I shall copy and paste some of, his great (and barely readable) come back was something about running out of the classroom like a little school girl. I told him that the past is the past, and that judging by my size, I am hardly little.

He has since to reply, being the dopey person he is.

Some of the convo (the original topic is not relevant to make my point)

And trust my luck, it won't let me post. I feel like my heart is sad at this point

But trust me when I say it was illiterate. Kitchen was spelt 'citchin' and his basic grammar caused his 'arguments' to basicallly be mindless drivel.

This is all

Jess xx


Apparently today is The BillisAwesome Appreciation Day.

What you would ask if people actually read this?

Basically for > AT LEAST 6 months, my brother's catchphrase has been BillisAwesome. He strongly believes he is awesome enough to have his own group dedicated to this on Facebook, be able to spam everyones Facebook status' and walls with it, and now believes he is able to make his own event.

I laughed when I was invited to it, and laughed even more when I saw my sister had declined, and my Aunty had called william a 'wanka' on the wall.

There have been events to punch Bieber fans, punch Twilight fans and even to throw lasagne at people. So why should he not have his own little event?

It makes him feel good possibly, to be centre of attention, (when isn't he?) and the fact that I know he is completely taking the piss out of this.

I decided to indulge him on his most auspicious of days by celebrating the event with a poster I amde. Ah paint, my old friend. Thank you for making my little brothers dreams come true :)


How do you change the massive picture? I don't like seeing my ugly mug so big -.-


Bieber! What a topic for a first post. Because I don't like him. If I was a few years younger, and didn't grow up listening to what my parents listened to, then maybe I would like him. I get the allure to tweens. Pretty boy, shiny hair, has Twitter.

BUT I think he is a fad. He'll be like Hanson and Aaron Carter, and other similair forgettable people. As soon as their balls dropped, and voices deepened POOF they disappeared. And yes, I do know Hanson are still kicking around somewhere in MusicLand, but does anyone really pay attention to them?

Back to Bieber, youtube phenomenon. He got signed, after being popular, and being viewed so much. Quite quickly. Maybe people realised he would be nothing after puberty.

And his fans are annoying. I use Twitter. A lot. Too much even, and his fans believe that Twitter was invented for the sole purpose of Justin. He is always in the Trending Topics, because people talk about him. Whether they love him, or hate him. HE IS ALWAYS ON MY PAGE. And rumours abound as to whether he pays people to tweet about him. I believe he does. Just my opinion.

And how much of his voice is AutoTune? He sounds way different to what he did on youtube.

And I am sick of bitching. But yes. Call me jealous. Call me old. Call me irrelevant, but I will happily say told you so when he disappears like Harry under his invisibility cloak, except Bieber will never return

xx JessCar

P.S I leave you with this link, only amusing thing about Bieber